Memories

When I lost my little Yorkie at 16 weeks and my new Maltese male at 9 weeks from a bacterial infection , I would call my friend Debbie trying to reach out to someone and she comforted me and I would call her late at night exhausted and trying to stay awake for their next doses and she would talk to me until I was okay to hang up.

Casper my Maltese, my heart came the closest I ever seen a dog die. He went from 6 lbs to 3 1/2 lbs and I prayed to God like I never prayed in my life. I thought I was dying myself everyday a little at a time with him.

I never ever will forget that time of my life. I felt like Job in the Bible when God took his family from him one by one and made him so sick he begged to die than stripped him of all his wealth. He did not ever curse God or hate him. He told Satan who tried to get him to turn against God that it was God's plan for him and he would accept his fate.

What a faith he had and belief in God.

I put all my faith in God and used all the strength I had in me to save Casper.

3 days and 4 nights he barely knew he was alive. He had to have medicine ever hour on the hour and could not miss a dose for the first three days and I was not sure if it would even save him. I fed him thru a tube inserted in his rectum for liquids because he could not hold it down by mouth. He started wasting away as he could not eat. I was keeping him alive only thru liquids. I called every research clinic i could and stayed on the internet for hours ever night researching. I failed to save Qtip and Peaches with the medicine and taking them to the vet , but I was not going to fail Casper. I willed him to live and he did not want to go he fought with his heart because his body was leaving him behind.

After 3 nights up I was forced to go to every two hours as I couldn't stay up any more and get no sleep. I called into work for the first three days and although i worked from home the last 4 days I cried silently to myself while I was talking to customer's and prayed I could keep faking that my life was fine to talk to them. Hardest thing to do and all the while i held my dog and dared him to die on me.

His hair was like straw and his bones were protruding horribly like all of the life had left him but he kept breathing and I knew he could hear me.

He never let go he wanted to live more than anything else. I couldn't believe the will power he had. I am the luckiest person alive to have a dog want to stay that bad or God just knew I couldn't take anymore.

When he would take a turn for the worse I would put him close to my mouth and mumur please don't leave me please stay. I would lay him so gently on blankets and turn him as his body elasticity was gone. one morning my husband said you have to let him go and I said no.....and he said he is suffering for god's sake give him some peace. I screamed at him and said he will not die.

After awhile my family just left me alone.

No one could talk to me and they just tried to tip toe past me.

I was losing control. It was like holding someone already dead.

I prayed all the harder and then one morning Casper tried to lift his head and wine and i knew he had returned to me.

GODS MIRACLE HAD FINALLY HAPPENED.

It was 6 months before he ate well and walked well. His hair had to be completely cut off. It was a long struggle for his return and to this day I tell you he was with the living dead in some other part of the universe.

When it attacked all the other dogs I thought I am going to die but one by one I did the same meds and they survived also. They never went to the extinct Casper did but it took weeks for them to recover. 2011 was the worse year of my life. The medicines alone for our dogs and the vet bills was enormous. But I would do it again no matter the cost.

YES I LOVE MY DOGS.

Virginia